Orenthal Impregnating Anna Nichole?

The famed actor/murderer/football player O.J. Simpson has thrown his hat into the ring for the possible fathers of Anna Nichole Smith's child. As quoted on the website Page 6, Simpson has been quoted as saying that:

"I knew Anna Nichole pretty well. I have some slow moving sperm. I could be the father."

I am literally at a loss for words here. With all the money that Smith had, I can bet that one of her luxuries that she payed for was laying in baths of man seed. Anna Nichole has probably the lowest standards out of anyone I've met, and I've shaken hands with Roseanne Barr. She gets married to an 88 year old billionaire, has sex with O.J. Simpson, and has no idea who the father of her child is? This is an excellent Maury Povich show waiting to happen. I should have tried to nail that fat/skinny/fat/skinny no class ho before she died. I could think of many uses for the money, like paying someone to rip out Dick Vitale's vocal cords, penis enlargement, or maybe even some breasts for myself so I can finally know what they feel like.

Droppin' Bows on em

So by now everyone has seen Gerald Henderson from America's most hated team Duke intentionally(?) foul Hansbrough out of UNC. This has sparked a debate on page 2 of ESPN...Who is the Duke player America loves to hate? Thomas Neumann lists the infamous Christian Laettner for making what is now known as "the shot." The player I most love to hate had to be J.J. Redick, just because he had his collar popped in his mug shot, after driving under the influence from too many Zima's. My hatred also extends to Shelden Williams, for being born out of wedlock to a blue assed baboon.

Potential?

Tyrus Thomas is a straight up animal. I did this once, over my third grade neighbor, who I then proceeded to slap in the face. With my penis.

The Arrest of Artest

Shocking news out of the Sacramento Kings club-Ron Artest has been arrested. Ron Artest is nothing new to violence, seeing as how he was suspended 73 games for fighting with fans in Detroit. I never really thought Artest was hard core, until he came out with his hit cd, with such songs on it as Ain't Easy, and Hood Luhv, then I really understood his trials and tribulations. It's hard being a piece of shit, and his troubles this time involve him being arrested for domestic violence. From ESPN.com:

"Victim sustained visible trauma after being repeatedly grabbed
by Artest and pushed to the floor," said the Placer County
Sheriff's Department report. "Artest then slapped victim's face
(and) by use of force prevented victim from leaving."

Earlier last month, Artest had his Great Dane seized because he couldn't feed it. Maybe Artest has the same problems as Spreewell, not enough money to go around. Family first, then the dogs. Or, maybe if his cd sold more copies than William Hung's he wouldn't have this problem. Either way, this sucks for the Kings who have been trying to get some life in their organization, and for the Maloof brothers, who were the only guys out there decent enough to give Artest a chance. Maybe Artest can shave his cross examination into his head, because that would be the only thing that would impress me to come out of him.