Schottenheimer Shit-Canned

Surprising news out of the whales vagina, otherwise known as San Diego. The Chargers have fired head coach Marty Schottenheimer, leaving them without a head coach, an offensive coordinator, and a defensive coordinator. I was going to write the GM of the Chargers and suggest this anyways, considering that they have LaDanian Tomlinson and Phillip Rivers, which is pretty much all you need. The Chargers are saving a ton of money by not having any coaches, money that could be spent in other ways, such as giving it to poor kids in Macomb, Illinois or maybe buy some midget strippers for some halftime entertainment. Seriously though, Schottenheimer brought his team to the playoffs, and was 14-2 last season. He was known as a playoff choker, but was still a respected coach around the league. Marty will be payed $4 million not to coach this season, money that should be invested in glasses that were made after 1963, or you know, maybe some contact lenses. Just a suggestion.