You Stay Classy, Barry Bonds

The New York Daily News reported today that the most beloved player in baseball, one Barry Bonds, has tested positive for amphetamines. This test was performed last year, and if you test positive for a first test, you are to remain anonymous. Well, Bonds is now playing the finger pointing game, blaming his positive testing on teammate Mark Sweeney, saying that he took the substance out of Sweeney's locker. Alright, Barry, so your saying that you went into Sweeney's locker, and unknowingly popped a couple of pills, to help you better your game? Amphetamines are also known as "greenies" and players like Pete Rose have admitted to taking them. After he tested positive, Barry was referred to counseling, not punished. A second violation for amphetamines, warrants a 25 game suspension. Bonds is playing the Rafael Palmiero game, blaming a fellow teammate, such as when Palmiero blamed Miguel Tejada for his postive testing. I know the next time I'm in need of a fix, I'm just going to search through friends medical cabinets....Foot fungus pills? This will fix my throbbing green genitals.